I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
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Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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