she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize