no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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