I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
