Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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