I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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