What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
