I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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