My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
