There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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