I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
