LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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