Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

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  (732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision http://tfl.nu/hkka
  Replies (44) Good night (3421) Bad night (1156)
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  (925): View more from California

  Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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  (925): Should I have kids to fix a relationship?? http://tfl.nu/aeth
  Replies (56) Good night (681) Bad night (8782)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.

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  (717): No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon. http://tfl.nu/gt7r
  Replies (43) Good night (935) Bad night (4042)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.

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  (440): I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit. http://tfl.nu/ddzq
  Replies (7) Good night (1022) Bad night (3099)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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  (724): are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations. http://tfl.nu/i5jg
  Replies (12) Good night (1580) Bad night (4035)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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  (519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7
  Replies (7) Good night (3985) Bad night (1109)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????

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  (312): ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because???? http://tfl.nu/17np
  Replies (5) Good night (2878) Bad night (1123)
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  (516): View more from New York

  drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

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  (516): drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries http://tfl.nu/4gv5
  Replies (4) Good night (3093) Bad night (770)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.

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  (845): Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions. http://tfl.nu/ahrr
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (615)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home

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  (617): Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home http://tfl.nu/toow
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (1014)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.

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  (210): Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience. http://tfl.nu/wox2
  Replies (16) Good night (1321) Bad night (761)
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  (925): View more from California

  also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

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  (925): also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/lamp
  Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (533)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...

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  (561): Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city... http://tfl.nu/enzu
  Replies (5) Good night (374) Bad night (620)
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  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (343) Bad night (863)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.

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  (508): I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi. http://tfl.nu/i78a
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (261)

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