he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes