Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so

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  (845): I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so http://tfl.nu/bpeg
  Replies (29) Good night (736) Bad night (2080)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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  (740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3
  Replies (13) Good night (3994) Bad night (895)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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  (859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever http://tfl.nu/61m6
  Replies (33) Good night (6310) Bad night (966)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you come get me at the bar

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ill be there in 10 min

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

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  (570): can you come get me at the bar (301): ill be there in 10 min (570): can we stop off at build a bear on the way home http://tfl.nu/der9
  Replies (37) Good night (9818) Bad night (926)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.

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  (734): Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders. http://tfl.nu/udeu
  Replies (32) Good night (947) Bad night (6288)
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  (607): View more from New York

  then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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  (607): then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother" http://tfl.nu/te5y
  Replies (19) Good night (1086) Bad night (4550)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her

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  (228): She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her http://tfl.nu/4rsn
  Replies (15) Good night (3511) Bad night (1759)
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  (631): View more from New York

  lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  wow.

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  (631): lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon (1-631): wow. http://tfl.nu/6n98
  Replies (20) Good night (4891) Bad night (1680)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

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  (609): is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact? http://tfl.nu/ny5t
  Replies (30) Good night (1887) Bad night (7521)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (2062)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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  (503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao
  Replies (12) Good night (3992) Bad night (1211)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.

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  (306): He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call. http://tfl.nu/bo9m
  Replies (2) Good night (1934) Bad night (775)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.

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  (503): Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck. http://tfl.nu/hc6u
  Replies (10) Good night (1307) Bad night (594)
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  (315): View more from New York

  There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.

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  (315): There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate. http://tfl.nu/2ksi
  Replies (7) Good night (1712) Bad night (489)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

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  (407): She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3wwx
  Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (343)

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