Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't believe you blew on her face.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.

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  (662): I can't believe you blew on her face. (1-662): I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes. http://tfl.nu/gk09
  Replies (78) Good night (2502) Bad night (1660)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (648) Bad night (2459)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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  (920): call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing. http://tfl.nu/ctbc
  Replies (8) Good night (700) Bad night (2847)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...

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  (402): who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar... http://tfl.nu/yz5c
  Replies (51) Good night (1069) Bad night (5464)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (49) Good night (20902) Bad night (963)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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  (425): Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange. http://tfl.nu/6ccw
  Replies (19) Good night (1251) Bad night (5430)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

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  (908): ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library. http://tfl.nu/ghke
  Replies (34) Good night (6869) Bad night (1203)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

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  (618): It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days. http://tfl.nu/kqbj
  Replies (9) Good night (1436) Bad night (3173)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You know i think she's just using me for sex

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate you.

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  (608): You know i think she's just using me for sex (1-608): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/pxkn
  Replies (13) Good night (5458) Bad night (1297)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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  (443): the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/g4cn
  Replies (8) Good night (4696) Bad night (1836)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.

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  (617): All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you. http://tfl.nu/zb33
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (1870)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?

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  (207): Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!? http://tfl.nu/bzp6
  Replies (10) Good night (1765) Bad night (860)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.

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  (973): Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover. http://tfl.nu/7xqn
  Replies (10) Good night (607) Bad night (1327)
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  (714): View more from California

  It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

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  (714): It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs. http://tfl.nu/jalq
  Replies (11) Good night (416) Bad night (1866)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.

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  (252): We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault. http://tfl.nu/5n55
  Replies (3) Good night (1459) Bad night (470)

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