I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.