Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.

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(702): View more from Nevada

well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.

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(618): View more from Illinois

It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".

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(206): View more from Washington

"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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(330): View more from Ohio

ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.

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