You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
