Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
