Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
