would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
