I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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