If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
