Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize