Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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