If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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