she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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