upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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