God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
