I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
