And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
