I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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