All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
well I can't set my house on fire every night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she smelled like a LAN party
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
