i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
