who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
