That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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