think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
