she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
