Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
