she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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