apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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