Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
