I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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