God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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