On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up under a house in Key West
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