This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize