I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
