I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
