My hand turned me down
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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