Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
