please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
