sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize