Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
