My room smells like vodka and shame
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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