U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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