His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How's work?
Spinning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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