You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
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Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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