there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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