I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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