well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize