This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
