I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
