I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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