In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
