I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
