So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
