Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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